Me

Welcome to me.And thank you for being here!I am flattered you would want to read about me.Prepare yourself for dog poop. Yup. Tons. And I mean literal tons of dog poop.First, however, I shall describe myself.I am a good blend of weird.Meaning I am just weird enough to be interesting, but not quite weird enough to be immediately arrested in public... usually.I have been called a boy, a son, a man, a fighter, a lover, a father, a success, and, at many times, a failure.Okay, I have definitely been called many worse things... but alas, I only have so much space.What I have always proudly been called is a storyteller.From retelling my own grand, often inebriated adventures to sharing the endless tales of others, I have always enjoyed reliving a good story. Not all stories should be told at the dining room table while grandma is visiting... but then again, I guess that depends on your grandma.For countless hours over many years, I have experienced many stories. Through them, I have lived in countless places, walked in countless shoes, across ages long past and far into the future. I have experienced victories, tragedies, discoveries, and losses that were never truly mine—yet somehow were.Now I have started writing my own.Thank you for being here. Each of you who shares your experience with my stories encourages me to keep writing more. Your kind words and feedback are, as always, much appreciated.Okay, so what do I do when I am not writing?Well, I spend a disturbingly odd amount of time admiring the unique lawn sculptures my dogs create when pooping everywhere. Truly, they are capable of creating real works of art.But most of the time, it is just heavy and smells.If you have a Great Dane, then you understand half my pain. We, in fact, have two: Floyd and Enzo.Spending time with my three beautiful daughters and my very patient, loving wife fills in a lot of my time between working and poop-raking.Being from Wisconsin and being an avid sports fan, I also enjoy watching and going to games. I like hiking, sitting down with a good video game or movie, and hopefully doing more traveling in the future. I would love to see more of the world and hear more stories. That is hopefully on the horizon.That’s about it.Poop + Family + Stories + Sports/Games = Life.Thank you for reading!Lastly, I am always looking for new content to consume, so if you have any good recommendations, find me on social media and leave me a suggestion. I would love to hear from you!Written from my DataPAD at Uldi’s Pub. Cheers!— Chris

You really scrolled all the way down here??

Please.There is literally a button to do just that right below this message.SEE IT?

• Buy Book Button